Ramcharan-Crowley

The Rev. C.J.Ramcharan St. Alban's Episcopal Church Pascallas Street PO Box 12 Blackville, SC 29817 (803)757-2661

By his life more than by any of his very eloquent words, Carlisle Ramcharan, my very holy nonGay priest during my last months before coming-out, taught me most of what I know about real spirituality. I was not surprised when talking with him recen tly he said, "Louie, I am following INTEGRITY with great interest. I believe that I know your answer before I ask, but I ask anyway. Would you be willing for me to explain as best I can your work to my congregation here at St. Paul's in Orangeburg? You worshipped with them for many months, and all of them have seen the material in The Episcopalian. I would like for them to know so that they may have an opportunity to try to understand......" Father Ramcharan did not need to remind me: in St. Paul's are many very loving Christian people. My husband and I have found many more such loving persons right here in tiny, rural Fort Valley. No place has a monopoly on goodness, nor does any sexual orientation. One of the attributes that I always most appreciate about Fr. Ramcharan in his spiritual dealings with me as a Gay person is the very genuine way that he never patronizes, me, at least never for my Gayness. I have always gotten from him that very rare and very Christian unspoken communication that my need is not a demand from him, but a gift to him, a gift of an opportunity to be generous. Most poignantly, most tactilely his joy in being Christian came home to me when, after being in Fort Valley as an openly Gay professor for several months I had the opportunity to hear Fr. Ramcharan speak to our faculty and students, whom he had served many years ago as an Episcopal chaplain. I came into the room excited by the opportunity and prepared to sit at the back. He left the respectable nonGay officials and came over with obvious concern for having the opportunity to see me again and embraced me. I tried to whisper, "But Father, you should not run this kind of risk....." but the love in his eyes and the strength in his arms told me more than his silence I was very safely in the embrace of a power of more than human making. Clearly he had a different understanding of risk, and preferred the Kingdom of God. There is not one Gay hormone in Fr. Ramcharan's body, or is there even the germ of homophobia. Surely only those comfortable and mature in their own sexuality can welcome and affirm the sexuality of others. Surely only those confident and deep in their own spirituality can welcome and affirm the spirituality of others. Married and loved outside my own race, I have had the special blessing to share in loving outsiders' perspectives on us white folks. To folks who have mopped our floors, cleaned our bathrooms, built our buildings, raised our children, nursed us through our darkest hours, we have often given the least edited versions of ourselves. Our maids and menservants can often add the breath to the icon, sometimes sourly and sometimes sweetly. Being a Gay Christian stalking our Church, speaking to scores of bishops, priests, and laypersons, is very much like that too. We smell the breaths of the nonGay icons, sometimes sour and sometimes sweet. May the Lord raise up many more like Carlisle Ramcharan.